Why love brings pain

History my friend Inga Muslim impossibly. Inga liked young man named Alexei, and he pursued his favorite reciprocity whole year. And finally, when she surrendered believed in the sincere sentiments guy he was obryuhatil (another word I somehow just does not come to mind) and abandoned.

Alexei threw Inga, I think, because it was afraid of liability. For the child, a seven-block of society. Afraid of losing their freedom, as well as physical problems.

Inga, despite the fact that since the end of the history of the past three years, still fearful question : "Why does love brings pain? " And really, why? Why not sometimes, and very often the pain becomes even native sister love? This plague many of us, because the situation where a love novel ends dashed hopes and dreams, and familiar, alas, every third person in the world.

And answer to the last question, I personally do not yet know. I do not know, because it got entangled in his own love of the opposite sex. "How come? I ask you, the readers, You journalist and medium; too high a need to know how to regain the love men! "In the magical way back (like gaining) love, and I know they do not want . Purely as humans do not want to know (hope that you understand).

But even in the case that I truly believe that love (now!) Is not through external action, and action from the inside. That is action, ranging from the human heart. This may be a desire, drive, the desire to acquire, intent, thought his search for an ideal partner.

And after mysleform born within the heart, and you can begin to action. That is embedded in its old and new friends, going into all sorts of public places (sports, clubs interests, parties and discos). The chances of being found their happiness is love. But only half of the amount.

Yes, there is a belief that a loved one can be found only hard talking. And it is said that a young man will never come home to the girlfriend, like postal parcel. And there is a grain of truth. These are the 50% of, as I wrote above.

But the second truth (50 per second) is that love is like a disaster and a joyous New Year surprise, it comes from nowhere. City : plumbers, came to repair leakages crane can be excellent husband specifically for you; A young daughter neighbours recently zaehavshih to your door, can be faithful companion of your nephew who came to you on Saturday for the new CDs.

The implication is that the only thing that should make people wishing to have their privacy-listening heart. Trust him. And occasionally the information to re-hung. But lately has been in preparation for family life.

Those who do not listen to the heart, and guided the choice of spouse or partner love other things (family members, a money capital, a beautiful appearance, etc.), most (and the other are those who have chosen the heart) are trapped .

Example : Inga not believe his heart started. And when for a year to communicate with Alexey a girl developed a habit of simply the young man, it adopted the habit of sincere, genuine and great love. But this year Inge liked a lot different YIM - Serezhenka, as it was called a girl from the yard, pereehavshy live in a nearby staircase. And Inga heart, it was not that this guy for six years younger boy almost, but not men.

Yes, sometimes those living heart, is not very sweet. And second love story Inga this. But my girlfriend and Sergey stood in the struggle for their own happiness. Indeed, public morality, friends and parents are told one thing and the hearts of lovers told them something else entirely.

The end of this wall Story good : most recently, a young dvadtsatishestiletnyaya stay married for decades Sergei. But wedding, as they say, is just the beginning of family life.

But my other friend-Nastya-after the failed marriage (albeit without consequences in the form of children) afraid bay to a new men. And as she lived, living many young and beautiful women. And many more like a man (or believe that love), and living with others. Why?

Yes, simply because not listen to your heart. A guided by emotion at times, the lure of modernity, the desire to sexual freedom or protest against the standards of conduct and rules of life that existed in the family (a) husband, and the fear of something new, be neponyatoy fear their parents and friends fear that the child of the first marriage would handicap a new relationship.

This is a born and pain. Pain based on love (how ironic it is not read). For the love of her child, the love-established home, the love of parents.

There is, of course, and you can guess. What is the same love for their parents, if the young woman is afraid of them? Yes, there are situations (where fear becomes the norm of human life, and no matter what he had sex), but there are also situations where respect for the parents who raised, for example, representatives of the eastern peoples, becomes an adult in the same an attribute is the existence of the TV.

Yes, some fear their parents, and someone they respect and sincerely believed that their blessing necessary for a happy future life. Yes, someone genuinely loves hometown (her apartment, her current area of residence) and does not want to part with their loved this, and someone's afraid of change (change of house, city, region).

Yes, somebody loves her child so that, seeing that the new Chosen no longer a child is not that fathers, but in a good stepfather, understands that the relationship will not continue happiness child.

And someone, as I said, maybe just once more inward and why you are the second marriage of his head and heart as something impossible.

Someone looking for a man in vstrechennom especially good lover. And someone-a friend and support. But thinking heart means at the same time for more comfortable living alone (to three, four, etc. with children).

Select heart is to stop, look around and ask yourself : "What would I have done in this situation (a love triangle, for example), if I had known that the day after tomorrow (in two weeks) die? "

Answer the question : what do you do if they knew that you are a few days left to live? Gone from the wife or husband and the last two days with his life prizhili this love? Seen would own (th) wife so much kindness and emotional warmth and understand that you want to last for days beside her (him)? It would be the former girlfriend, who claims that her child is your child, and just finishing a glass dining table for one? And it may be admitted to the parents of that right they were 20 years ago, when told that "Maschka (Alex) is (that) all the juices from you vysoset"?

Well, life so long and yet so short to spend it on the dispute. So you want to live every day as your last and do only what ïîíÿëà heart. There is no confusion with other voice votes heart-mind, ego, self and the like.

But men can go to the mistress, not because he loves it, but because it flattered that so attractive (young / smart / Relaxation / sexual / good) woman has against him courtesy. A woman can leave her husband to lover, because last schedree first, educated, religion, etc. (List can continue themselves).

But if something as a character (personality) can not guarantee a sense of love. Hence, the above-mentioned people not to leave their truly loved, and to those who simply looks much vyigryshnee against legal husband or wife. And when we remember popular wisdom that love is not for something, but to something, then ...

Maybe those seeking the most positive person in the quality of people, we forget the most important : that our hearts do not need it? What they need only our minds, seeking confirmation gentle sense of logic.

Maybe, so born love pain because of the confrontation heart and mind? As you, esteemed readers, think?